I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
