the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
