I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
