So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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