Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.

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(313): remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck. http://tfl.nu/0g1v

Replies (3) Good night (1234) Bad night (727)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.

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(505): The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting. http://tfl.nu/bmo9

Replies (12) Good night (4344) Bad night (655)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..

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(860): My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen.. http://tfl.nu/c7n8

Replies (15) Good night (5468) Bad night (1635)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."

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(864): You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor." http://tfl.nu/jk5x

Replies (9) Good night (3367) Bad night (788)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer

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(+44): We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer http://tfl.nu/3muy

Replies (6) Good night (1296) Bad night (643)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?

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(715): you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question? http://tfl.nu/kzcn

Replies (11) Good night (1397) Bad night (859)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.

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(919): Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side. http://tfl.nu/vqy8

Replies (6) Good night (2996) Bad night (684)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour

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(215): I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour http://tfl.nu/upbq

Replies (12) Good night (2575) Bad night (616)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks

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(204): Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks http://tfl.nu/u0ub

Replies (1) Good night (572) Bad night (462)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.

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(603): YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP. http://tfl.nu/wagi

Replies (6) Good night (1007) Bad night (412)
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(231): View more from Michigan

It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.

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(231): It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud. http://tfl.nu/k8j8

Replies (5) Good night (605) Bad night (430)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.

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(918): I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time. http://tfl.nu/atlw

Replies (1) Good night (819) Bad night (374)
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(+55): View more from

you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works

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(+55): you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works http://tfl.nu/gh4c

Replies (2) Good night (801) Bad night (287)
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(805): View more from California

That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.

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(805): That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture. http://tfl.nu/lxlo

Replies (4) Good night (733) Bad night (421)
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(661): View more from California

Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.

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(661): Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back. http://tfl.nu/53qo

Replies (1) Good night (364) Bad night (323)

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