why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
The air was thick with penises
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
