This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............