He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
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I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
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He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you