It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
