i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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