I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
