i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
