At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
