she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
