hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
In America we eat man semen.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
