It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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