He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
