My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
