Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
