dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
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the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
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I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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