Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
