and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
