they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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