he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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