ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
