We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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