You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
