Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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