Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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