she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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