butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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