i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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