Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
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