I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
