physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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