how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
