I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I miss vodka workout Fridays
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
