Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
