guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Randomize
