So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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