I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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