people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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