I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
