come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
