I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
