i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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