STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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