Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
