I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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