8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
