All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
