pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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