It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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