chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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