his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
