What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
