I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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