Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
