Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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