My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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