if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
