i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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