so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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