He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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