Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
