i jhust puked up my retainher.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
