you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
