I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize