what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
