I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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