well most of my day revolves around power hour
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
This baby is an asshole
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
