I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize