He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
